A Time for Clearing Out & Clearing the Way

Friends:

Recently I've felt the need to take respite, slow down the pace of my life, take stock of my priorities, and get refreshed. I've been trying hard to do just that, starting a few weekends ago, and have taken several liberties this week as well to continue in the process. I began by cleaning my surroundings from head to toe, throwing out 'junk' that has been hanging around, donating clothes to the local shelter, organizing my stacks and piles, and getting my kids' school supplies purchased in advance, among other things. I even went to bed early a few nights and caught up on some much-needed sleep, a habit I plan to continue moving forward despite my urge to work 24-7!

In the midst of my clearing out I felt an undeniable awareness that I was also clearing the way for something new. I cannot say exactly what, but at the deepest spiritual level, I know that a change is imminent in my life and that it's coming soon. Whether it be a week, a month, 6 months, a year...I don't know for certain, but a major change is on the way and I want to be ready.

While engaging in this process of clearing out and clearing the way, I recognize that I've been here before, and that life is truly cyclical and circular. New opportunities present themselves throughout the course of our lives, and we as individuals are constantly learning, growing, changing, and expanding--if we allow ourselves to, that is. I also understand more than ever before that those things that we consider losses and failures are so often opportunities for opening ourselves up to the new. This has been a hard lesson for me, but certainly one that I am embracing now.

I've also learned that in clearing out and clearing the way that we can and do control the way we use out time more than we are willing to believe. I have a constant stream of deadlines, due dates, deliverables, and 'do-nows' that command my attention every day. But as I learned in the most defining moments of my life...the birth of my children, major illness or the passing away of my mother and the months leading up to her departure--and that other loved ones, that we can and must at times pull away from the busyness of our lives to address those things that are most essentially important. We have the power, if we have the will, to stop the wheels from turning--if only for a time, to attend to the important matters of our lives--spirit, purpose, health, family; and to listen to what spirit is telling us, be it to clear out and clear the way for change in my case, or another message tailored to your unique circumstances. Emergencies and matters of life and death should not be the prerequisites for getting our attention.

As I slow my wheels down and listen more intently to spirit, I encourage you to do the same.

Be well,

Lisa

A PICTURE SAYS A THOUSAND WORDS

"The Laying On of Hands"

Friends,

I could not resist sharing this picture of Barack surrounded by elders and peers in a moment of love, hope, faith, and genuine care...a moment many of us can relate to and appreciate. I'd hoped it would show up much larger, but for some reason, my blog shrank it to the size you see below. Nonetheless, this is to me a beautiful image that takes us back to the strength, substance, depth, and tremendous faith of our elders and their love for us, the Next Generation. I would go further to say that one can sense the hopes and dreams that each person in this circle has poured forth into Barack...the hopes of generations of souls; those passed on, those present, and those yet to come.

The photo also calls to mind a scripture my mother shared with me on many an occasion in her insistence that I pray with my children daily, laying hands on them as she did to my brothers and I, asking God to pave the road ahead of us; and to open a window and a door where there were none, allowing for our safe passage.

She told us often, "Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them" (Matt. 18:20), and I believed her then as I do today.

I remember those mornings...every morning, that she had us stand in a circle in the midst of our humble living room in the house & home she worked so hard to keep and maintain for us, clad in her crisp white beautician's smock, or in later years, a sleek black version. She was jazzy! But never to pretty to pray. There we stood in the circle of prayer, hand in hand, while mama talked with God on our behalf as only a mother can do.

I know this is what has seen us through...what has seen ME through the trying times; what has opened the windows and doors that I have walked through, and what will do the same for my children. And I am grateful today for the laying on of hands, for a mother's prayers, and the prayers of every elder who has poured their soul's hopes into me.

I am sure Barack is grateful too.

Be Well,

Lisa

Friends:

Amidst the trying events of the past 10 days, I feel incredibly grateful today to be alive and well.

The past two weeks have brought on news of multiple family illnesses among our elders; and the subsequent passing just last night of my husband's 92 year old grandmother, Mary B. Caire, a beautiful woman and gracious soul full of love and kindness.

Grandma Caire's life is a living lesson on love, sacrifice, duty, and strength. She was a pillar to her family and community, a patient teacher and caregiver of her many grandchildren and devoted in every way to her family--the center of her life up to the last breath. The mention of her name brings forth honor and admiration from others who remember her for her many good works, her fearlessness in speaking up for what was right, her activeness in community affairs on behalf of children and families, and her genuine concern for others. Mrs. Mary Caire was a woman of her word, a woman who led by example, a woman who was willing to lend a helping hand because it was the right thing to do, requiring no praise or reward though she was honored with a number of awards during her lifetime.

I am honored today to say that I have known her, sat with her, talked with her, learned from her, and that my children were graced with the loving presence of such an incredible human being. She was and remains the epitome of a Leading Lady in my book.

Mary B. (Thomas) Caire and husband Edgar Caire standing at far right
with three generations of the Thomas-Caire Family

My husband shared one of the many jewels of wisdom that Grandma Caire shared with him many years ago when he was just a boy, and I am now passing it on to you. It's a simple thing really, but profound in every way like so many of the lessons she taught. It simply goes like this:

God gave you your life...everything else can be replaced.

And so I leave you with that simple truth today, by way of Grandma Mary Caire, in hopes that you will recognize as I have again today that LIFE is a gift. Nothing else matters more than the time you have now to LIVE, TO LOVE, TO LEARN, TO GROW, TO BE.

Live today and everyday understanding that with your life alone, you have everything that is precious.

God bless...

Lisa

Friends:

It's been a long time since I blogged here...but I'll return shortly. I've been really busy managing multiple projects and pressing forward on a few priorities.

It's hard to believe two years have gone by since Mom passed. Losing a mother is something you never get over, but you do get stronger, which is what a mother would want for the children she leaves behind.

Mom would be proud to know that SisterSpeak Online, my soul-project, is featured this month in Clutch Magazine (I'm sure she had something to do with it being my guardian angel and all :).

I'll share it with you too...here goes:

http://clutchmagonline.com/lifeculture/feature/sister-supporting-sisters-sister-speak-online-magazine/

...or just click the photo

Talk back and let me know what you think.

I'll see you soon!

A PERSONAL HOLIDAY MESSAGE FROM SISTERSPEAK FOUNDING EDITOR, LISA PEYTON-CAIRE

Last year at this time I sat in my Mother’s living room, the warmth of her humble yet beautifully appointed home surrounding me. Her spirit was as beautiful and endearing as ever, and her smile as bright and gentle. She sat on the couch across from me, along with my husband, older brother and my sister-in-law listening intently to my plans to build a business as I entered the New Year. I had come to get their blessing, and perhaps most of all, Mom’s approval. I wasn’t sure what they’d say, considering I had just left a stable job—a seemingly senseless thing for a bright, highly educated young woman and mother of four to do.

I had big plans, you see, to create something new, something that truly reflected the inner-longings of my heart and that fused my childhood love of beauty, writing, and connecting with others through the sharing of stories. I’d worked in education for more than ten years and had realized that though my passions in the field were true, the work, or at least the way I was pursuing it, simply did not speak to the deepest parts of my heart, my creativity, or my desire to impact others—particularly Black women--in a more personal way.

It was time to venture into unchartered territory, and I wanted my Mom right there with me, helping me build a new vision every step of the way. We shared a few basic things in common that I knew would make our partnership work; a love of all things beautiful, a desire to see others happy, healthy & thriving, and a knack for getting things done. There was only one caveat; mom would simply advise, be my creative inspiration, and otherwise relax. More than anything, I simply wanted to be closer to her, and to have her there as I built an enterprise that I hoped would afford me the ability to take care of all of her needs. This was my plan for 2006.

I received nothing less than complete support from everyone gathered there that night. As we sat in the golden glow of holiday lights and luminous candlelight, I experienced a validation I hadn’t felt in many years. It was magical, and the feeling so incredibly empowering. What was most important to me was Mom’s vow to help me in any way she could, “God willing”. I felt renewed in that very moment. Equipped with family support and Mom’s love, I had everything I needed to move forward.

Little would I know that it would be our last Christmas together. No one could have prepared me for the reality of that…the reality of losing her only months later. She would celebrate her 64th birthday in March in a hospital bed recovering from open heart surgery; her second in 10 years. She would go on to recover for a brief period, re-enter the hospital after complications, and would pass away only weeks later on May 22nd.

I witnessed Mom’s battle from beginning to end, and often ponder how I managed to make it through such an ordeal given the weight of the walk and the subsequent loss. The experience has undoubtedly changed me forever, and although my heart & mind are filled with many warm & even rocky memories of our lives together, it’s the image of her quiet yet faithful and courageous journey back to her Maker that fills my mind every single day.

I am reminded by the words she said to me one week before she died. She whispered in my ear after pulling me close, her hands caressing my hair, “Don’t ever give up, and don’t ever stop fighting. I’m still here, and I’m still fighting. I’m not giving up”.

And she held on, for one more week, gaining the strength to talk, laugh, and simply sit with me and my brothers in silence, basking in the comfort of knowing she was not alone. She would later speak about being ready…ready to go. And she would go only when she decided in her own mind, and after commiserating with God, I’m sure, in her deep slumbers, to stop fighting.

I learned in these moments, and in reflecting on them how it is that I managed to be strong; how it is that I managed to survive an ordeal of this magnitude, how it is that I have survived many trials and challenges in my life. I survived because I am Roberta’s Daughter. I endured because she taught me the meaning of strength and grace under pressure. I persist because of the silent prayers she prayed for me; the same prayers her mother prayed for her. I persevere because her spirit and the spirits of all who came before us imbued me with the will to carry on even through what appear to be life’s darkest moments.

So I stand here today at the dawn of another Christmas, separated in body from my Mother, but not in spirit. I stand in the midst of the same golden glow of holiday lights and luminous candlelight that greeted me in her living room just 12 months ago, except the glow comes more from within than from any external source.

Most of all, I am reminded of her words as I look forward to 2007, my vision shaken for a moment but still in tact…“never give up, and don’t ever stop fighting. I’m still here, and I’m still fighting. I’m not giving up”.

Persevere my dear friends…Persevere.

Happy Holidays to you all.

In Sisterly Love,

Lisa Peyton-Caire